is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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