i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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