Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize