At least make sure they are 18
Why
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
