Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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