I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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