me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
