I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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