you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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