my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize