Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
do herpes really smell.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize