god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
