Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
as a side note pls kill me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
