u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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