Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize