Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
