Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
