im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
