We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
