I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
4 words: hood of his car
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
