So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
