I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize