Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize