brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
