Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I came so hard my ears popped.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
