i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
