on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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