I've blown a few things in my day
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
