Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
