you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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