oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize