Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
