I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
