Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
