And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
