My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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