Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
