She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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