i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
