Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
