that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
