i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
