dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
