okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
