no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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