Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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