Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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