Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Screwed.edu
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
