you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
