im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
