I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
