Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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