i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
