Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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