D3 body, D1 cock
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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