He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
