the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We just shotgunned beers for America
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Shame is for Republicans.
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