You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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