if you like me you must not know who I am
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
