I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
