the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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