She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize