is your mom at the bar?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
