my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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